Our judgments always reflect something about ourselves. This might sound strange to some, but it’s true. Marshall Rosenberg beautifully described it as follows:

“A judgment is a dramatic expression of an unfulfilled need that you didn’t know you had.”

For instance, you want to share something with someone, but they don’t listen. Your mind jumps to judgment, saying, “You never listen,” instead of acknowledging and expressing your underlying need, which could help you get what you desire. By reacting with judgment, you distance yourself from the other person.

Similarly, when someone has something you also want, instead of acknowledging it to yourself, your mind goes into judgment mode. It may ridicule or speak poorly of that person or their possession. This is unfortunate because by doing so, you’re sabotaging your own potential to attract the same thing or something similar.

It would be much more constructive to ask yourself how it would feel to have that thing you desire. Imagine having it, how you would look, what you would say and do. Explore what actions you could take to achieve something similar. By doing this, you connect with the frequency of what you want, open yourself up to it, and it may come to you. However, if you remain stuck in judgment, fueled by jealousy and accompanying emotions, you close the door to attracting a similar creation.

Be grateful to the person who awakened this desire within you. Thanks to them, you now know what you want. This opens possibilities for you. With judgments, you close yourself off from those possibilities.

This is not hocus-pocus but energetic logic, a universal law. A universal law applies always and to everyone, without exception! Not like our human legal system, which may apply to certain layers of the population but not to the top. Laws can be selectively enforced, changed, or even bypassed according to an agenda. However, this is not the case with universal laws; they apply to everyone consistently.

Your Judgment Has a Message for You: Often, we judge aspects of others that we also have within ourselves but are not accepting of. We hide or suppress these aspects and pass judgment on them. However, this suppression prevents us from being fully free. The friction we experience in our interactions with the outside world is meant to awaken us. It calls for reevaluation of the judgments we have placed on ourselves, so that we can be freer and stop suppressing these aspects. Your judgment becomes an obstacle to further growth; it becomes your harness.

For instance, I used to struggle with what I perceived as “brash people.” This revealed to me that I might benefit from being a bit bolder or freer, but my judgment was getting in the way. Every time I encountered “brash people,” I reacted with judgment and disapproval, and this kept me from expressing myself more boldly. I allowed things to slip by just to avoid coming across as brash. Thus, I was stuck in my own judgment and suppression, and I needed interactions with the outside world to become aware of it. This awareness helped me change my approach, so I stopped letting things pass me by and embraced my freer side.

Similarly, I sometimes still pass judgment on what I perceive as “lazy people.” However, this judgment reflects my unfulfilled need for more peace in my life, which I couldn’t see initially. By having judgment and disapproval for those who are in a relaxed or laid-back state, I realized my own need. To break free from this pattern, I had to let go of the belief that being more relaxed would be wrong and create more peace and space in my own life.

So, pay attention to what you judge; it’s about you! It wants to free you from your own armor. We have the truth of our mind and the truth of our heart, and when these two are not aligned, we feel contraction. We need to realign the truth of our mind with the truth of our heart.